Dependent--

Last night I was talking with a good friend, and we began to talk about how in the past we have both had tendencies to pride ourselves on academic achievement. Why? For me, this is definitely a pride issue. Needless to say, God has used college to soften me in that area. Anyway, I was just thinking--WHY is this kind of pride so easy for me to fall into?
One, it has to do with independence. This world pushes independece...but a conformed independence. Yes, that is a paradox! Anyways, academics is an area that as humans, if we so desire, we can be successful, and yes, some are successful without depending on God. Sometimes that is an escape of a different kind, as well, but that's not what I'm getting at...
So last night Bible Study at church (we're in John) we began talking about how everything Jesus did was from the Father. Jesus did nothing without it coming from God. Jesus was completely dependent upon God.

For I did not speak of my own accord, but the Father who sent me commanded me what to say and how to say it. I know that his command leads to eternal life. So whatever I say is just what the Father has told me to say. John 12:49-50

This puts a whole new spin on dependence upon God for me. JESUS was dependent on God. Shouldn't I be? In everything. Even if I could be successful in certain areas because of gifts He's given me without Him, what a waste that would be. We are made to worship Him and serve Him. Anything--even good things that we sometimes can do without Him--if those are not done for His glory, they are WORTHLESS. Oh, and another thing. We are not redeemed to make ourselves feel better, but to SERVE HIM. Funny how the Lord has tied Hebrews and John together lately...!
Hebrews 9:14
How much more, then, will the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered himself unblemished to God, cleanse our consciences from acts that lead to death, so that we may serve the living God!
This struck me. Like it took me a minute. How often do I confess just to get it off my heart and to not feel bad anymore? Wow. That's so convicting to me...

God is constantly underscoring waiting. Not just the patience part, but the true waiting. Psalm 37:7 and Hebrews 9:28. These are different contexts, but still God is amazing and brings this all together in ways we can't imagine.

How Great is our God!

Again, we are not independent Christians. We should be fully dependent on the Lord. (not as a crutch...) but as our Healer.

Another thing this world is constantly looking for- "extraordinary" people.
We can only be extraordinary with Christ
*in our surrender of ourselves
*in our dependence upon the Creator
*in our service to Him
*in the healing He displays in our lives daily and moment by moment...

My apologies if this sounds really jumbled--my mind is jumbled. Yet, somehow God manages to speak, and I am so thankful. He really can use everything, even when we don't trust Him. He is that awesome. But, he knows our hearts, and that is the beautiful thing about the Lord!
Speaking of beauty--it's so interesting to me to see different perspectives of this. The beauty (however ironic this might seem) of the cruicifixion, of Christ's sacrifice for me and for you. The beauty of His creation, even in galaxies far away. It's personal, but yet it's so overwhelming. God, may I stand in awe in every moment and not get so wrapped up in myself--

Enamored,
Amanda