Anything. Everything.

Just to Be with You
Third Day

I've heard a tale that a man would climb a mountain
Just to be with the one he loves.
How many times has he broken that promise?
It has never been done
Well I never climbed the highest mountain,
but I walked the hill of calvary

And just to be with you I'll do anything,
there's no price I would not pay, no
Just to be with you I will give everything.
I would give my life away.
Yeaaaa

I've heard it said that a man would swim an ocean
Just to be with the one he loves.
But all of those dreams are an empty emotion
It can never be done.
Well I never swam the deepest ocean
But I walked upon the raging sea

And just to be with you I'll do anything,
there's no price I would not pay, no
and just to be with you I would give everything.
I would give my life away.
Yeaaaa

And I know that you don't understand the fullness of my love
How I died upon the Cross for your sin
And I know that you don't realize how much that I give you
And I promise I would do it all again

Just to be with you I've done everything
There's no price I did not pay, no
Just to be with you I gave everything
Yes I gave my life away.

THis weekend I did a lot of driving--around 700 miles actually. But it was all worth it. =) Hockey game, family, friends...gosh what blessings that God allowed me to experience this weekend...I am so undeserving, but thankful, nonetheless.

So I listen to the radio a lot when I drive, and I heard a song that I haven't heard in a few years probably, Just to Be with You by Third Day. Who am I to reject Jesus...He has done everything to be with me...and so many times it's like I am looking for everything but Him, and He's standing there with His arms wide open for me. I rejoice in the fact that the Lord never changes (Malachi 3:6) and that He is always waiting on me...and He will meet me where I am when I ask Him to! Isn't that amazing! Reminds me of Coldplay's Yellow..."for you I bleed myself dry..." That is SO Jesus!

Speaking of Jesus...He's alive and well. He's in my heart. Praise Him!

The interview this morning went well I think. I'll hear back from them in 2 weeks or so, and I am really excited, because this is definitely my first choice. Regardless, I am aware that my first choice may be the place that God doesn't want me, but at the same time I feel like He may be leading me there. We'll see. It was a bit itimidating to sit in front of the director and share what God has been doing in my life (just because I get shy and nervous sometimes), but it got easier as we got further into it.

Can I reiterate how undeserving I am!?!? I went to see Sarah while since I was in the area for my interview--what an amazing friend I have...and she has no idea! God really used her to encourage me today...like sometimes when you just need that extra push...and God allowed her to provide that today and I am ever thankful! And I got to babysit two amazing kids tonight...God is just too good to me. He proves Himself over and over, and I am undeserving of that, as well.

"Love your neighbor as yourself..."
(throughout the Bible, but first appears in Leviticus 19:18, Jesus quotes from the Torah often, especially in Matthew's Gospel since Matthew was the most "Jewish")

First we've got to learn to see that God loves us, He likes us (apart from our sin)...and not out of obligation! Not because He "has" to, but because He delights in us as His precious and priceless creations! It's a challenge to look at ourselves with our knowledge of some of our faults and sins and our general fallen-ness and to come out with a view similar to how the Lord looks on us. We can't ever see exactly, but if we are covered by the blood of Christ, what God sees when He looks at us IS Christ in us...and He likes that, too! He sees who He created us to be, because with Christ we are without sin in His eyes.
This then translates into learning to love others as He loves them, and learning to see them as He sees them. Let me tell you what a challenge this is for some of the individuals that God has put in my life. I get so frustrated, so irritated...ugh. But love is patient and kind...and that's what I am called to be with them, despite my desires to really tell them off for something. Instead, we are called to a greater love...

This is kind of a thing that could go on forever, because I don't completely understand it first of all, but also because it all goes hand in hand...and thus a circular flow is created...
Also, this is new to me. God keeps confirming it over and over, and He keeps showing me that I need to see His love and how He is enthralled with me...and that I need to see how He wants me to treat others--He knows my heart. If my heart is bitter and I am "nice" to someone, I don't believe that honors Him...I might as well just have acted out of bitterness, too! (Hebrews 4:13--NOTHING IS HIDDEN!)

God is doing some amazing things. Sometimes, well a lot of times actually, I think I know what God is doing, and then He switches things up on me...and He heads me in a completely unexpected direction...and yet one that benefits me more and one that glorifies Him, more importantly! He can change the desires of our hearts when we are seeking Him...and that is completely amazing to me!

Lord, attract me to you.

-al