More Than.

Right now God has really just been underscoring the importance of me calling on Him in every moment. Not only rejoicing in every moment, but rejoicing and calling on Him—when we don’t feel like it—when we don’t feel His presence—when the lure of the world seems stronger than His love.
And again God keeps telling me: Amanda, I am more than enough for you. This baffles my mind, mainly because I can’t imagine how God knows everything, every part of my being, NOTHING being hidden from Him about me, even what I hide from myself—and still He says: “I am enough.” This is just…ahh…I can’t wrap my mind around it. But I think it’s great that the Lord allows us to try, because we realize how inadequate and how unfaithful we are even in the smallest things.
And I think when we stop trying to fathom that we either go one of two ways…or at least I do. I either start abusing His grace to His face, or I rest in it, rejoice in it, thank Him for it, and rejoice in it. But I guess He just keeps bringing me back to that fork in the road to show me which way is the right one…
When we call on the Lord—we must wait. His timing is perfect. We want Him to come quickly, and to bring the feeling of His presence with Him. Sometimes the Lord takes that feeling away. It tests our faithfulness—how often do I fail with that one!?!?! It shows us that it’s not about the feeling, although sometimes we are blessed with that. Kind of like…praise/worship is not about the music, but God has blessed us with that entity to worship Him and He does allow us to enjoy that.
“O LORD, I call to you; come quickly to me. Hear my voice when I call to you.” Psalm 141:1
But yet…
“Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for Him…”
Psalm 37:7
Lord, teach me to hold these two in tension…to trust that you hear my call and for me to wait patiently when I forget to trust your timing. Show me, Father. I stand amazed in your presence. Lord, please make me more sensitive to your Holy Spirit so that you can teach me in every moment, not just when I decide that I want to be taught. Thank you for teaching me what it means to really pour out my heart to you and to abstain from spiritual promiscuity by not pouring out my heart to others before I do to you. Thank you for your forgiveness, Lord. I confess myself to you and commit myself to you. You are the Healer. I claim this, and that you can heal my heartwounds that I have inflicted upon myself by being so unfaithful to you, Lord. God, you know what people and circumstances are on my heart. I trust you with these things, even when I get anxious and worried, may you calm me and reassure me. Thank you for Diane, Lord, who was willing to be used by you to provide me with profound comfort that was coming directly from You. Thank you for knowing my heart, and for filling every need. Thank you for teaching me that only you can completely fill me, even when the enemy tries to convince me otherwise. I am still fallible, Lord. Guard my heart and protect me as I seek your will and your desires for my own will and my own desires. May they be one in the same. Please, Lord, please plant the desire in my heart to live for you in every moment. I can’t do this without you. You know.
“All of you is more than enough for all of me…and all I have in you is more than enough.” –Jeremy Camp
This is my prayer. Show me that you are enough, again.